Apple earned a net income of $20.7 billion on revenues of $90.1 billion (up 8.1 percent) in the quarter ending September 30. The results are a record for that quarter, Apple said, as it vaguely claimed another milestone: an all-time high for its active installed base of devices.

“This quarter’s results reflect Apple’s commitment to our customers, to the pursuit of innovation, and to leaving the world better than we found it,” Apple CEO Tim Cook said in his typical non-sensical hyperbole. “As we head into the holiday season with our most powerful lineup ever, we are leading with our values in every action we take and every decision we make. We are deeply committed to protecting the environment, to securing user privacy, to strengthening accessibility, and to creating products and services that can unlock humanity’s full creative potential.”

I know. Sorry.

With the exception of the iPad, which was refreshed in October after the quarter ended, all of Apple’s businesses experienced revenue gains.

The iPhone remains Apple’s core product, with revenues of $42.6 billion, up 9.4 percent year-over-year (YOY). So iPhone now accounts for 47.3 percent of Apple’s revenues.

Services was again Apple’s second-largest business, but it’s no longer Apple’s fastest-growing business, which might explain the recent Apple services price hikes. This business posted $19.2 billion in revenues, up 5 percent.

The Mac contributed $11.5 billion in revenues, up an incredible 25.4 percent. Wearables, Home, and Accessories posted $9.7 billion in revenues, up 9.8 percent. And the iPad brought up the rear with $7.2 billion in revenues, down 13 percent (understandably).

Unlike the other Big Tech giants, Apple doesn’t provide guidance for coming quarters. That said, CEO Tim Cook spoke to CNBC about the quarter and he provided a few meaningful comments (unlike that disgusting quote above), noting that Apple would have posted double-digit growth in the quarter if it wasn’t for the “foreign exchange [rate] headlines” due to the strong U.S. dollar. “We’ve slowed the pace of hiring,” he admitted.